Kneeling before Him...



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Saturday, May 31, 2008

Some things I have been recently asked and have meant to get around to answering.

Yes, the bump is due soon. Anytime now in fact. We had a bit of trouble with me going into a couple of early labours, but I have been assured that the risk is low now and any labour that started now would lead to a caesarean section birth. If one doesn't occur, I am due for a planned caesarean within the next three weeks. My doctor believes it is too dangerous for me to deliver naturally. I believe in my doctor.

Yes I am as excited about this pregnancy as I was about Sarah Jane's. Being pregnant makes me feel rather wonderful. I love it. I love knowing that my body is nurturing and protecting the little one inside me. I do want to meet this baby, I do want to learn all there is to know about the baby's wonderful personality. But, I will miss feeling so utterly and completely female and so damn special. I know that this is not unique, women get pregnant and have babies every day. It is far from unusual, but I am the only person in the whole world that gave birth to Sarah Jane, and I am the only person in the whole word that is pregnant with this little one. No one else can give birth to this baby, just me. I love it, and with any luck, will do this again, though doctors do not like three caesareans. Usually they recommend you stop at two. We shall see how we go.

Mac is doing just fine with work and us and Sarah Jane. We keep him on the run. He manages to wake up around three times a night most nights to untie my ankle so I can use the bathroom. I have the world's smallest bladder space left with this baby. Peeing is a constant thing. And God help me if I sneeze. I guess all this waking up is good for us. It gets us used to the night feeds. He was wonderful when we brought Sarah Jane home, she had Him wrapped around her little finger from the very first. I have a feeling this bump will do the same. He is such a proud Dad. I swear He struts when He has Sarah Jane with Him. It's almost as if He is saying "Look at what I made? Isn't she perfect?" She is the only other girl He spoils.

Sarah Jane is all settled into her big girl's room and the nursery is once again ready for a baby. It didn't take much, just some tidying up of the furniture, a few minor repairs and a good thorough cleaning of the walls and floor. I have made new blankets, stitched new clothes, as well as had all Sarah Jane's hand me downs cleaned and ready, just in case we need a lot of pink.

It has been a long time since Mac and I had sex. Well, not so much had sex, as had sexual intercourse. We have not been able to because of the early labours and the risk to the baby. Even now, the doctor thinks it is best that we don't have intercourse, so it will be a while longer before we can. It hasn't stopped us from doing other things. Teasing Him, touching Him, hands, mouth, breasts, all achieve the same result and yet, there is certainly something missing. There is still a strong desire to connect with Him in that one extremely intimate way. I tell Him all the time that I want it. He tells me all the time that He wants it too, and we settle for what we can have because neither of us is willing to risk this bump of ours. We can wait. But god, it is going to be huge mind blowing sex when we can have it again. We have had plenty of time to make plans.

So basically everything here at the McBroden home is happening the way it should.

Oh and Master and Angel are having the most wicked and decadent sex in my mind, I just don't have time to write it down. Hopefully I will get to it before I have this little one who is currently kicking my ribs.

I will try and write again soon.

Posted by Sarah McBroden at 11:47 pm

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