Kneeling before Him...



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Friday, September 26, 2008

Some bits and pieces.

The Angel Story.
I just want to remind people that the Angel story actually started off as just a short story. Mac wanted more, people here wanted more and it became more. Because of this, I have no story plan. I write the parts as they come to me with no clue as to what will happen when I get to the end. I did receive an idea from a ready who suggested that I kill off Angel's Master, leaving their love intact, but the more I write, the more I realise that Angel must make a choice. It is going to be a very difficult choice, between her life as it is, with the fine house, the children, the holidays in the South of France, the man she loved enough to pledge her life to, and her life as it could be, the sex, the acknowledgement of her deepest darkest secrets, the contentment she feels belonging to him. Never in her darkest dreams did she imagine she would end up in this predicament. But now that she has I don't think I am going to let her off easily.

God. Have I mentioned lately that I love Him? Everyday, every single day, He finds a way to make me fall even more in love with Him. He says it is my fault, that I do it to Him so it is only fair that He does it back to me. I know, soppy isn't it? But really, it is incredible. We have been together for 6 years now and every day feels just like the first one. I am still amazed that He chose me. I am still in awe of our love.

The other day we were out together, just the two of us. That is a rare occurrence now days. We decided to stop off at one of our old haunts for a bite to eat before we headed home as I had it on good authority that the kids were doing perfectly fine without their mum and dad. When we walked in Mac went to the bar, and I went to the ladies room and when I came out, there was a woman flicking her hair and laughing while talking to my Husband. I stood back for a moment and sized her up.

She was blonde and petite in a way I will never be blonde or petite. I have tits and an ass which makes me too round to really be that small. She obviously had no children and no stretch mark would dare mar her stomach. She was carrying a tiny purse which most definitely did not contain a spare bib and wipes, just in case. And she had not been forced to let her hair air dry after she had rinsed the baby sick out of it when she was already running late.

But when I stepped forward, there it was on Mac's face, as clear as country air on a hot day. He smiled that smile, that was a mixture of 'oh wow, there she is' and 'does she realise how in love with her I am?' The woman talking to Him actually faltered when she saw that look, and she was not the type of woman that falters very often. He introduced me, Sarah, His wife, and unfortunately, He had forgotten her name. She sniffed and told me her name was Penelope and I was pretty sure no one called her Penne. She wasn't the Penne type. She drifted away pretty quickly after that and Mac grinned at me and slid His arm around me and kissed me fully on the lips. It was delicious.

Poor Penelope never stood a chance.

There will always be people that come here that don't believe I am telling the truth. I used to let it get to me. I don't any more. I do know that no matter what I do or say, nothing will make them believe in me. If I tell them of my insecurities, I am too weak. If I tell them of my strengths it is unreal that someone could be that strong. If I speak of my problems with my children, I should take a spoonful of cement and harden up. If I speak of them lovingly, my children are too perfect to be real. People will believe what they want, and disbelieve what they want. I know I am true to myself and to Mac and that is what matters to me.

Sleep and smiles.
Some days almost nothing is worth more than a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, but every day, nothing is more precious than my babies' smiles. As long as I get the smiles, I can survive without the sleep. For a while. Anyway.

That's all I have for now.

Posted by Sarah McBroden at 1:14 pm

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