Kneeling before Him...
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Tuesday, January 20, 2009
It has been a rough week. Mac has been busy. Sarah Jane and Nicholas both have runny noses and are not getting much sleep, so I have not had much sleep. Things have been misunderstood, misconstrued, missed. Mistakes have been made with little time to make things right.
So one night when the babies were both snuggled up in their beds and both sleeping a little easier Mac told me to come with Him to His study. He said it was not a request, it was an order. I had things to do, but I didn't complain. I knew we were not as close as we could be and that things between us needed sorting out. He pulled me onto His lap and He kissed me. He told me that it was important for us that I forgive myself for mistakes that were made, that I couldn't keep beating myself up over misunderstandings. I had been pretty down on myself the last few days. He told me a story about a girl who tried so hard to be pleasing that it was ok for her to make a mistake. He said it would make Him happy if I were happy.
We snuggled. We kissed. I touched His penis. He groaned. He pulled me onto Him and we kissed while He was inside me. We kept kissing until both of us were satisfied and then He made me snuggle back on His lap. It was very comfortable. He told me He had some emails to read and that I needed to be a good girl and stay still and quiet while He read them.
I was a very good girl. He would lean down and kiss me now and then. He let me play with His hair. I grew tired. He was still reading. I snuggled in further when He moved to change to the next email. I closed my eyes and dozed. He woke me when it was time to go to bed. He told me I was a good girl. He kissed me, my eyes, my cheeks, my lips. He said that we needed to go back to doing this when time is limited, for me to sit with Him once the kids are in bed. I agreed because I felt forgiven. I felt that things were right between us. Being with Him, having time with Him, even just quiet time, made me feel right again.
We are doing that again, me sitting with Him before bed, and it has helped me through this busy period.
Mac says it is helping Him too.