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Thursday, January 01, 2009
So Christmas is done and the New Year is here. All in all it was a good Christmas, tiring but good. I am shocked once again at my family's ability to be nasty to each other. My mother got so bad at one point that I just told her that if she was going to be like that, she could go home. It's not that I don't love her, I do. And it is not that she doesn't love us, she does. It is just that lately she has become the type of person who finds misery in other people's triumphs and joy in other people's failures.
Dad lost his phone a few days before Christmas. The phone had pictures of the grandkids on it. Irreplaceable pictures. Pictures he showed his friends at the club and complete strangers in shopping lines. He was devastated. He loved the phone, the first he had ever owned, and the pictures obviously meant a lot to him and it had a golf game on it that he would play when he came home from work. Mum thought it was funny. Not only did she think it was funny, she thought it was a great laugh to rub it in. You lost your phone, you silly old coot. All you pictures, everything, gone. And now you can't play the golf game when you get home from work. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
On boxing day when I was telling Mac how dangerous I believed that sort of behaviour to be, how detrimental it is to ones health to have the person you love take a sore point and push on it either in private or in public, making you feel not only like a fool but unloved as well, Mac shook His head and said why can't people just be nice to each other. I myself just don't understand it.
I actually enjoy being nice to Mac. It makes me feel good when I make Him feel good. Not just sexually either, making Him laugh at a witty comment or funny joke is also a wonderful thing. And being the reason that He smiles just, well, it makes my day complete. People say that our relationship is unbelievable, that we could not possibly be real because we are so 'perfect', yet really all we are is nice to each other. We love each other, so we want the other's life to be better. We want to make each other's lives better. That is both our goals.
I believe I am a better mother because Mac loves me. I believe I am a better person, a better sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, friend, lover, whatever else, because Mac loves me. He tells me that I make Him a better person. He says I taught Him how to love better. Because of the way I love Him, He has more love to give. Being together energises both of us. We don't try and drain each other. We don't try to bring each other down or rejoice in each other's failures. We spend our time together giving. When one of us falls down the other is ready to pick them up. When one of us succeeds the other celebrates the victory with them. Every thing we do belongs to both of us. Because we are a family. We are our family. And we should make each other feel like we can rule the world. At least, He can rule the world. I am content to be the one at His feet.
So on Christmas Day when my mother was being a little nasty, I told her to stop it or she could go home. I said it nicely, like it was a joke, but she stopped because she knew it wasn't really all that funny. Mac smiled at me, a 'good girl' sort of smile and we went on with an enjoyable Christmas lunch, a family lunch where everyone had a good time and remembered to celebrate each other's successes.
And I got my sister and brother to put in for a new phone, a Nintendo DS and Tiger Wood's golf game for Dad's birthday which is just a few days after Christmas.
He was so excited.
It made us all feel good.
So my wish for 2009 is for people to just be nice to each other.
It really doesn't sound like too much to ask.