Kneeling before Him...



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Friday, January 15, 2010

I have learnt that to get through this life successfully, you have to be willing to be flexible. Nothing works out the way it is expected to and you will do much better, it will be much easier, if you can just accept that and go with the flow. My accident was one of those unplanned things that has completely changed our lives. Every day spent with the children (which pretty much is every day) will bring new challenges, which includes everything from cleaning up egg from the floor and walls to having a strangely colourful and upset cat. (Apparently I cannot trust Sarah Jane with finger paints while I am changing Nicholas's nappy. The cats can't trust her either.) So being able to accept changes and challenges as they come at you are an important part of life.

Still, there are things that I cannot adjust to, no matter how frequently they occur. Mac is away on business, which I am coping quite well with. He has very little time and when He does have it, I am sleeping, which I am coping quite well with. We are emailing quite a lot.

We have grown apart during this absence, which I am NOT coping well with. I never cope well with it. I know it will be fixed when He comes home, so I am not scared that it won’t get better. I just don't like the way it feels to not be totally connected to Him. I think I have to face the fact that it is going to happen every time He is away. I know it is hard on Him too. I can't even say that it is my fault or His. I cannot find the reason it happens or a way to stop it from happening. It is just one of those things that creep up on us and suddenly it is the elephant in the room. I don't know how to fix it either, other than Him coming home.

He will be back on the weekend, which will be wonderful. I am excited that He will be home. He is excited to be coming home. It is better when we are together. If I had my way we would never be apart, but I know Mac likes this travel part of His job. While He isn't keen on being away from us, He likes the adventure of visiting different countries and I would never take that away from Him. I am willing to be that flexible. Besides, maybe this time apart is to remind us how good it is when we are together. Maybe it plays an important part in making us who we are. Or maybe it doesn't do anything at all and it is all just in my head.

I just wish it was the weekend already!

Posted by Sarah McBroden at 1:21 pm

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