Kneeling before Him...



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Thursday, March 03, 2011

I have started on a number of posts, then life has dragged me away and I have not gotten back to them. So here are the things I was going to post.

First, Christmas. Yes, going back that far! Christmas day was awful. Well, not all of it. Mac, the kids and I had a really good, happy, busy morning, then my family arrived. My sister and I had not spoken for almost a year, because her husband feels that I am a bad influence on her. I got her a job with a friend of mine and because of that she is spending less time looking after him and it is my fault. Never mind that the reason I got her the job was because they couldn't make payments on the house and she was constantly stressed about money. I found out this is why she has not spoken to me for a year on Christmas day. Merry Christmas to me.

And apparently her husband had decided that getting absolutely smashed drunk at our house would be a good way to spend Christmas and he had not had much sleep for two days after working a night shift, going shopping on Christmas Eve, working another night shift, then opening presents with his kids before coming to our house. So he somehow managed to down half a bottle of good quality bourbon inside of an hour, stumbled around for another hour, showed me his penis, and passed out in a chair. It was a relief when he passed out. I had spent an hour trying to stop Mac from hitting him and keeping the kids out of the way while my sister thought it was all hilarious. Her husband is the type of person who won't even raise his voice in public. His public image is really important to him and she took great delight, bordering on nasty glee, at his embarrassing display.

Of course, the brother-in-law passing out was just the beginning. It was all quiet for a couple of hours before he started throwing up all over himself while still passed out. People held his head and aimed him at a bucket. This happened a few times through the afternoon and evening, including one time where he cried for his mummy. What a wonderful example he set for his four teenage sons. Sarah Jane kept asking what was wrong with him. Nicholas just stayed right away from him.

I have not heard from my sister or her husband since Christmas day. No apology, nothing. This is behaviour that we would not have put up with from a friend. Yet from family, it happens and we not only accept it, we are also supposed to just forget about it and move on.

On New Year's Eve, we decided to stay home, just Mac, the children and me. We put the children to bed at their normal bed time then sat together on the couch and talked. The talking led to touching and the touching led to fucking and we saw out the old year and in the new year with him inside me and us both deciding it was a much better way to celebrate then being out with a bunch of drunken people.

Next Christmas will not be held at my house.

Mac is still travelling a lot. In fact he is away right now. He will be away for a couple of weeks. It is hard to maintain any sort of relationship while we are spending so much time apart. Before he left we had a discussion which included Him saying that He felt like I did not love Him as much anymore and me saying that I had started to feel more like a booty call than a wife. The only time we were communicating at all was when we wanted to have sex. It wasn't just Him either. I have physio twice a week, which is a torturous nightmare. I have swimming therapy twice a week which is so much better than the physio, but still tiring. I have two very lively children to take care of and I am still on massive doses of painkillers and still in lots of pain so I haven't had the time or energy to give to Him. He is working his tail off, often working from 8 am to midnight seven days a week, two weeks at a time. Then He comes home jetlagged and unwell and he works another 5 long days before he gets a day off and by that time all He wants to do is sleep. Then it is time for Him to go away again. We both agreed that we both need to talk to each other more. We just have to make the time.

As you might have guessed by now, the last surgery I had was not successful. I am still in a lot of pain when I walk. They are no longer sure why I am in so much pain, the surgeon took out a lot of scar tissue and some bone, which should have freed up movement in the joint, but even my strapping, young, rugby playing physiotherapist with the intense blue eyes cannot get it to move, no matter how much of his weight he puts into it. I have, on one occasion, walked around the supermarket, ignoring the pain, because I was told I had to force myself to walk, only to suffer a stress fracture and end up back on crutches for 6 weeks. I have to walk, but if I walk even a simple distance, I injure myself. The whole thing just sucks.

Sarah Jane and Nicolas are growing like weeds. I swear they change overnight. I wish I could capture every moment. Sometimes it just feels like it is all going too fast.

I think that is all I need to write for now. At least I got this one finished.

I hope I get back into writing again now.

I just want to add that I have received an email telling me that once again my posts have been stolen and reproduced on someone else’s blog and claimed as the blog owner's writing. Whilst I am flattered that you think my writing is worth stealing, stop it. It makes you look silly. And now I know about you, if you do it again, I will have no choice but to maked sure all your friends know who really wrote the things you post.

Take care everyone!

Posted by Sarah McBroden at 10:49 am

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